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Skill 1: Leveling |
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| Tell the other person clearly and non-defensively how you feel, or how you think about a particular issue, rather than trying to hide your feelings or misrepresent him/her. |
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Skill 2: Listening |
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| By listening we mean actively trying to listen to what the other person really says, rather than assuming you know what he/she is going to say, or listening to yourself, or interrupting. Obviously, if you don't hear what the other person actually says, you do not have much chance of communicating well. As if you are a tape recorder, take the conversation in word by word and chew on each word one by one. |
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Skill 3: Validating |
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| Validating means to accept as truth what the other person tells you about his/her feelings, rather than denying /hisher feelings, or insisting that he/she ought to feel or think the way you would. Validating is not giving in, nor does it mean, "I understand why you feel the way," nor "Yes, I would do the same." The minimum and sufficient validation is just to accept how the other person feels. |
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References:
McGrath, H., & Francey, S. (1999). Friendly kids friendly classrooms. Sydney: Longman Pearson.
Montgomery, B. & Evans, L. (1993). (2nd ed.). You and stress. Melbourne: Viking O'Neil.
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